Schoolyard Picks: How People Evaluate Friend Potential in Others

We all use a variety of clues to figure out whether a person we’re interacting with is going to like us. After all, being rejected hurts, and we typically would rather not pursue a friendship with someone who might reject us. To determine whether we’re likely to be rejected by a potential friend, we might notice whether we share the same hobbies, whether we dress similarly, or whether the person is acting in a friendly manner to us—making eye contact, that sort of thing.

Recent research by Dr. Jenessa Shapiro takes this process a step further, finding that we pay attention not only to what the potential friend does personally, but also to their own friendships. Shapiro and colleagues presented White college students with a Black potential friend, pictured either alone, with a White friend, or with a Black friend. The idea was that seeing a Black potential friend who has a Black friend might lead people to conclude that the potential friend is uninterested in White friends. Continue reading


Is Racism Really Cool? What we Know about Who Makes Cross-Ethnic Friends

From the time kids are in preschool, they tend to make and keep more friends of their own ethnicity than of others. In many schools, children form entirely separate peer groups, with European-American (white), African-American, Latino and Asian-American children sitting at separate tables in the cafeteria, participating in different clubs, and attending different social events. Nonetheless, some cross-ethnic friendships  do form and researchers have been focusing recently on what types of children tend to form them. The results might surprise you.

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How little does it take to make someone racist?

Suppose I told you today that, from now on, you would be identified in your work place or school as being on the Blue Team. Then I listed a group of peers you didn’t know well as also being on your team. Another group would be the Red Team. A few weeks go by, during which you don’t work in your color group, nor do you hear any information about what the Red Team is doing. At the end of the month, I ask you how much you like the other members of the Blue Team. Do you think you’d like your team? Do you think you’d like them more than you liked the members of the Red Team?
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Who can help reduce suicide among lesbian, gay and bisexual adolescents?

If you’ve been reading the news recently, you’ve seen that a string of suicides by gay teens has been ripping across the nation. Billy Lucas, 15, hung himself after being bullied for years about his sexuality. Asher Brown, 13, died from self-inflicted gunshot wounds after enduring constant harassment at his middle school.  A recent survey suggests LGB teens are twice as likely as their heterosexual peers to have attempted suicide[i], and such findings are nothing new.

That’s the bad news.

Now, here’s the good news. Because suicide rates among LGB teens have been high for so long, a fair bit of research has addressed the issue of what factors protect LGB students from feeling like death is the only good option.  Here’s what we know:

Why LGB teens are in pain:

LGB teens are routinely harassed and threatened by their peers. Over 80% of LGB youth report being verbally harassed and close to half report being threatened by peers.[ii]

Harassment based on sexuality is particularly harsh and damaging to adolescents. In a sample of high school boys, bullying based on perceived gay identity was more frequent and the victims experienced higher anxiety and depression than victims of other types of bullying.[iii]

School support staff don’t always know how to help. While many school psychologists and counselors feel it is their obligation to help LGB youth, they often don’t feel prepared for that task.[iv]


What and who can help?

Parent support matters. Family support protects LGB adolescents from the mental health damage normally caused by victimization.[v]

Friends matter. Adolescents who reported losing friends because of their sexual orientation were three times more likely to attempt suicide than those who had not.[vi]

Adults in school can help. LGB students who felt they had an adult at school they could talk to about a problem were three times less likely to have made multiple suicide attempts in the previous year.[vii]

Anti-bullying policies are important. In schools with anti-bullying policies, LGB teens committed suicide less often, regardless of level of personal harassment or perceived support by adults at school.[viii]

The psychology research is clear. The teachers, principals, parents and peers of LGB adolescents can make a real difference by offering their support. The question that remains is simple: Will you help?

[i] Eisenberg, M. & Resnick, M. (2006). Suicidality among gay, lesbian and bisexual youth: The role of protective factors. Journal of Adolescent Health, 39, 662-668.

[ii] Hershberger, S. L. & D’Augelli, A. R. (1995). The impact of victimization on the mental health and suicidality of lesbian, gay and bisexual youth. Developmental Psychology, 31(1), 65-74.

[iii] Swearer S. M., Turner, R. K., Givens, J. E. and Pollack, W. S. (2008). “You’re so gay!”: Do different forms of bullying matter for adolescent males? School Psychology Review, 37(2), 160-173.

[iv] Sawyer, R. (2001, August). Findings from an assessment of school counseling, health, and mental health professionals. In J.D. Porter (Chair), Addressing Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Adolescent Health and Mental Health in Schools. Symposium conducted at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, San Francisco.

[v] Hershberger & D’Augelli (1995).

[vi] Hershberger, S.L.,  Pilkington, N.W., and D’Augelli, A. R. (1997). Predictors of suicide attempts among gay, lesbian and bisexual youth. Journal of Adolescent Research, 12(4), 477-497.

[vii] Goodenow, C., Szalacha, L. & Westheimer, K. (2006). School support groups, other school factors, and the safety of sexual minority adolescents. Psychology in the Schools, 43(5), 573-589.

[viii] Ibid.